Can’t believe that today my big sis is going to London for the next 1-2 (or more?!?!) years… it still hasn’t fully sunk in. I feel like I’ll go home and she’ll be there chilling on her phone in her room, or we’ll have dinner together with mummy as usual during the week. That she’ll be there for me to share all my woes and worries to – always providing a really clear, concise and logical solution to my conundrums which seem so complicated in my head.
Warning: this is going to sound like she’s passed away or something but this is not the case!
This isn’t the first time I’ve had to “let go” of my sis. The first time was when she graduated from high school and immersed herself in her new world of uni, partying, socialising, work, friends, boyfriend etc., and I was left behind. It was my first ever heart break – in year 8.
We had a childhood that could probably be in a Disney movie. We were best buddies and did everything together. We danced around, played games, sang along to Britney Spears and Hilary Duff, pigged out in front of the for hours…
Somewhere along the way after the whole situation I grew bitter and resentful to how my sis “abandoned” me. But by the grace of God, he healed our broken family. Firstly the relationship between my mum and I (which was basically non existent most of my life), the relationship between my sis and I and finally the relationship between mum and sis.
We’ve enjoyed such a sweet and beautiful time together us Ouyang girls (with Pepper ) these past two years that I will never forget. So many deep chats about life, boys/men, our purpose, who we are, career, motherhood, family, our past, our present and our future. 👩👧👧
My big sis is a warrior and a rock. Our family life has not been easy or smooth sailing, the opposite in fact. But through it all she has loved us deep in her heart and done her best to fight for this fragile bond we call family from a young age. Whether it be to work hard in the family business, try to reconcile my parents, earn more to help our finances or shelter me from things I was too young to be exposed to. She took all of this responsibility upon herself, I forget that she is only 5 years older than me. I feel so much more sheltered and naive. She is always thinking about other people and how to serve them, how to help them, make their life easier or make them happy.
Dear Jiej, my hope and prayer is that during this trip you are free from feeling so responsible for others, but can let go and do what makes you happy. Explore, wander, taste, touch and smell the world around you. Take each day as it comes. If you feel like turning left, turn left. If you feel like jumping off the path and creating your own, do it! Find the voice that speaks inside you, the one that resonates with your heart and your spirit. Forget what you think you know and don’t be afraid to redefine who you are and how you see the world. This is a rare window for you to breathe, dig deeper and connect with the people, places and things that surround you.